!

today i thought that nothing went my way. every lesson sucked. chem lecture i couldn't follow, math lecture was the same. i was starving by lunch but had to queue more than half an hour before i got my food. math tutorial was pointless cos i didn't do it at all, and gp was disappointingly boring. then there was meeting pub comm, which was not a very happy affair, but nothing out of my expectation. and on the way home i missed the train and subsequently felt rather defeated. no i wasn't feeling down the whole day, but just rather fatigued. it isn't the same kind of feeling like in sec 4 when everything went wrong and i felt like life sucked. it is just a feeling of regret that nothing could get my spirits up at all.

i returned home very silently. everyone except my sister was home today. no one saw me. then whatever i planned to do, i didn't do. i planned not to eat before dinner but i ate a lot. i planned to settle some dance stuff but i didn't. i wanted to blog then the internet connection suddenly went off. i wanted to do my math tutorial then i decided to go and sleep instead. then i just slept like a log for half an hour and when my sister came home and started banging on the piano i just shot out of bed feeling like i haven't been breathing right since i fell asleep. like something was stuck in my windpipe. then i intended to have dinner with the rest but i dunno why i walked to the bathroom and started bathing. really, it's scarily funny how my brain is saying do A but my body just goes ahead to do B instead. and now i'm supposed to be doing work but here i am. i seem to have lost control of myself. it's so strange! and i'm not even feeling bad about it, i'm finding it annoyingly amusing.

i must be going mad! and i really have to have to go and do my work now. there's too much to be done, it's getting too scary!